SUJATA AND KISA GOTAMI

Sujata and the Seven Types of Wives

Sujata came from a wealthy family and was married to the son of Anathapindika. She was arrogant, did not respect others and did not like to listen to the instructions of her husband and his parents. As a result of her attitude there was trouble in the family every day.

One day, when the Buddha visited the house of Anathapindika, he heard an unusual uproar in the house and asked what it was about. Anathapindika replied, "Lord, it is Sujata, my daughter-in-law. She does not listen to her mother-in-law, her father-in-law or to her husband. She does not even honour nor pay respect to the Exalted One."

The Buddha called Sujata to him and spoke kindly to her, "Sujata, there are seven types of wives a man may have. Which of them are you?"

"What are the seven types of wives, Venerable Sir?" asked Sujata.

"Sujata, there are bad and undesirable wives. There is a wife who is troublesome. She is wicked, bad tempered, pitiless, and not faithful to her husband."

"There is a wife who is like a thief. She wastes the money earned by her husband."

"There is a wife who is like a master. She is lazy, and thinks only about herself. She is cruel and lacking in compassion, always scolding her husband or gossiping."

"Sujata, there are the good and praiseworthy wives. There is a wife who is like a mother. She is kind and compassionate and treats her husband like her son and is careful with his money."

"There is a wife who is like a sister. She is respectful towards her husband, just as a younger sister to her brother, she is modest and obedient to her husband's wishes."

"There is a wife who is like a friend. She rejoices at the sight of her husband, just like a friend who has not seen her friend for a long time. She is of noble birth, virtuous and faithful."

"There is a wife who is like a handmaid. She behaves as an understanding wife when her shortcomings are pointed out. She remains calm and does not show any anger although her husband uses some harsh words. She is obedient to her husband's wishes."

The Blessed one asked, "Sujata, which type of wife are you like, or would you wish to be like?"

Hearing these words of the Blessed One, Sujata was ashamed of her past conduct and said, "From today onwards, let the Exalted One think of me as the one in the last example for I'll be a good and understanding wife." She changed her behaviour and became her husband's helper, and together they worked towards enlightenment.

Buddha left his two gurus Alara Kalama and Uddaka Ramaputta and was separated from the five monks with whom he had taken several penances in Uruvela. He sat under a banyan tree called the Ajapala Nigrodha. He felt that extreme austerities were not at all necessary for the spiritual achievement and to achieve the spiritual goal. The natural human drive for the normal human food arose in his mind. A woman, named Sujata fulfilled his desire by offering him the milk-rice.

Sujata was the daughter of the landowner of the Senani village near Uruvela. She had pledged once that she would offer the milk-rice to the spirit of the tree if she gave birth to a son. As her wish was fulfilled she asked her maid Punna to visit the tree and prepare the place for offering. When Punna reached the place she saw Gautama sitting under the tree. She mistook him as the tree-god and told the matter to Sujata. Sujata became delighted and reached the spot to offer him milk-rice from the golden bowl.

Gautama Buddha accepted the golden bowl filled with milk-rice. Then he walked to the riverbank, took bath in the Suppatthita and then ate the food. This was his only meal, which he took after forty-nine days of fasting. After that Buddha attained enlightenment.

SEVEN WIVES

Sujata belonged to a very wealthy family and was married to the son of Anathpindika. She was arrogant, did not respect others and disobeyed her husbands and parents. As a consequence of her attitude there were much trouble in that family. One day, while Buddha visited the house of Anathapindika, he heard the unusual uproar of the house and asked the reason for the noise.

Anathapindika replied that it was his daughter in law Sujata, who did not listen to her parents in law as well as husband. She did not even honor or pay respect to the respected one. Then Buddha called Sujata to him and told her very softly and kindly that there were seven types of wives a man might have and asked her which one was she? Sujata wanted to know about the types.

Buddha replied the first kind of wife is bad and undesirable. She is troublesome, wicked, short-tempered, pitiless and not faithful to her husband. The second type of wife is like a thief. She wastes the money her husband has earned. The third type of wife is like a master. She is lazy and thinks only about herself. She is cruel and has no sense of compassion, always scolding her husband and gossiping. The other types of wives are good and praiseworthy. There is a wife who is like mother. She is kind and compassionate and takes care of her husband like her son and careful with the money. The other kind of wife is like a sister. She is respectful, modest and obedient to her husband just like a younger sister to her brother. There are wives who are like friends to her husband. She rejoices at the sight of her husband, just like a friend who meets other friend after long time. She is of noble birth, virtuous and faithful. The last type of wife is like the maid of the house. She is calm and obedient and does not show any sign of anger even her husband uses some harsh words to her. She is obedient to her husband`s wishes. After describing all the types of wives Lord Buddha addressed Sujata and asked her which kind of wife she was and which type she wanted to be.

Sujata was ashamed of her past conducts and said that from the day onwards, she would change her behavior and would be a good and understanding wife. She changed her behavior accordingly and became her husband`s helper and both of them worked together towards enlightenment.

From the day the Great Being had gone forth from the household life until the day depicted in this picture, six years had elapsed. Here he has resumed eating normal food and his body has returned to a normal state. This day was the fifteenth of the waxing moon of the sixth lunar month, 45 years before the Buddha's passing away [parinibbana]. The lady offering things to the Great Being in the picture is Sujata. She was the daughter of a householder in a village in Uruvela Senanigama. She is offering a dish of Rice Gruel with Milk [madhupayasa], rice cooked with pure cow's milk. It was a vegetarian food, containing no meat or fish, used especially as an offering to deities.

The Pathamasambodhi states that Sujata had made a prayer to the deity of a certain banyan tree for a husband of equal status and for a son by him. When she had obtained what she wished for, she cooked the milk rice as an offering in thanks. Before the day she was to cook the rice, Sujata had some of her servants lead the herd of 1,000 cows to a forest of licorice grass so that the cows could eat their fill. Then she divided them into two herds of 500 head each, and milked the 500 cows of one herd and fed that milk to the 500 cows of the other herd. She then continued to divide that herd and feed half on the milk of the other half until there were only eight cows left. She then took the milk from those eight cows to make her milk rice.

When the rice was cooked, Sujata sent a servant girl to clean up the area around the banyan tree. The servant girl came back to Sujata with a report that the deity [deva] who was to receive the offerings had materialized, and was already sitting at the foot of the banyan tree. Excited, Sujata lifted the tray of milk rice to her head and carried it to the banyan tree, together with her servant girl. Seeing that it was as her servant had told her, she came forward and proffered the tray of milk rice. The Great Being received it and looked at Sujata. She understood from his look that he had no bowl or any other dish with which to eat the food, and so she made an offering of both the rice and the dish.

Having offered the rice, she walked back to her house, full of happiness, believing that she had made offerings to a deva.

From the sixth to the eighth weeks after the Enlightenment the Buddha spent his time going back and forth between the Bodhi Tree and the goat-herds' banyan tree. On the fourteenth day of the waxing moon of the eighth lunar month, in the eighth week after the Enlightenment, the Buddha took leave of the area of the Enlightenment to make his way to the Deer Park at Benares, nowadays known as Sarnath, in the vicinity of Varanasi. At that time the Group of Five who had once followed the Buddha in his renunciation and lived with and tended him had come to live at this place.

On the way, specifically when he reached the Gaya River on the border of the district in which he had been Enlightened, the Buddha met a matted-hair ascetic by the name of Upaka coming the opposite way. Upaka was was said to be an Ajivaka one of the kinds of ascetics who were common in the Buddha's time and a Digambara.

The Buddha goes to find the Group of Five

meeting Upaka the ascetic along the way.

As the Buddha drew nearer, the ascetic asked him who his teacher was. When the Buddha answered that he had no teacher, that he was a ayambhu, fully self-Enlightened, the ascetic Upaka muttered: "It may be so, friend," shook his head and giving way to the Blessed One, went on his journey.

It is important to note carefully this event of Upaka's meeting with the Buddha. Here was Upaka coming face to face with a truly Enlightened One, but he did not realize it. Even when the Blessed One openly confessed that he was indeed a Buddha, Upaka remained skeptical because he was holding fast to the wrong beliefs. In those days as well as today, there are people who follow wrong paths, refuse to believe when they hear about the right method of practice. They show disrespect to and talk disparagingly of those practising and teaching the right method. Such misjudgments arising out of false impression or opinion should be carefully avoided, which is generally translated into meaning the adherence to wrongful belief, rites, rituals and ceremonies.

Even though he did not evince complete acceptance of what the Buddha said, Upaka appeared to have gone away with a certain amount of faith in the Buddha, as he came back to the Buddha after some time. After leaving the Buddha on the road to Benares, he later got married to Capa (Chawa), a hunter's daughter, and made his living selling the meat his father-in-law, the hunter, killed. Capa, who had aparently greatly admired Upaka as long as he had been an ascetic, began to dispise him for having been entrapped by HER and endlessly ridiculed him. Because of that, even though they had a son, he became weary of the household life and left, making his way to Savatthi, found the Buddha and entered the order. Practising the Buddha's teaching, he gained the stage of Once-returner, the Anagami. Foreseeing this beneficial result which would accrue out of his meeting with Upaka, the Blessed One continued on foot on his long journey to Benares.

UPAKA'S WIFE:

The Therigatha Commentary supplies a favorable ending to the story of Capa, Upaka's wife. She is said to have followed her husband to Savatthi and likewise gone forth into the homeless life. She then outdid her husband by becoming an Arahat. The Therigatha contains at least twenty verses attributed to her, some taking the form of a dialogue with her husband. As for their son, Subhadda, the texts do not mention what became of him, but more than likely his care would have been entrusted to the Bhikkhunii Sangha.

For additional insight and further clarification regarding the incident above where Upaka, even in the presence of the Buddha himself, is unable to discern the Great One's Enlightenment, please see: Dark Luminosity. See also The Honeyball Sutra wherein one Dandapani the Sakyan also, upon meeting with the Buddha, just walked away from him expressing doubt.

Fundamentally, our experience as experienced is not different from the Zen master's. Where we differ is that we place a fog, a particular kind of conceptual overlay onto that experience and then make an emotional investment in that overlay, taking it to be "real" in and of itself.

Kisa Gotami was the wife of a wealthy man of Savatthi. Her story is one of the more famous ones in Buddhism. After losing her only child, Kisa Gotami became desperate and asked if anyone can help her. Her sorrow was so great that many thought she had already lost her mind. Someone told her to meet Buddha. Buddha told her that before he could bring the child back to life, she should find white mustard seeds from a family where no one had died. She desperately went from house to house, but to her disappointment, she could not find a house that had not suffered the death of a family member. Finally the realization struck her that there is no house free frommortality. She returned to the Buddha, who comforted her and preached to her the truth. She was awakened and entered the first stage of Arhatship. Eventually, she became an Arhat.

The following Dhammapada verse is associated with her story:

Yo ca vassasatam jeeve apassam amatam padam Ekaaham jeevitam seyyo passato amatam padam

Though one should live a hundred years without seeing the Deathless State, yet better indeed, is a single day's life of one who sees the Deathless State.

In the "Gotami Sutta" (SN 5.3), Bhikkhuni Kisa Gotami declares:

I've gotten past the killing of [my] sons,

have made that the end

to [my search for] men.

I don't grieve,

I don't weep....

It's everywhere destroyed — delight.

The mass of darkness is shattered.

Having defeated the army of death,

free of fermentations I dwell.

The story is the source of the popular aphorism: "The living are few, but the dead are many".

A literary tradition has also evolved round the story of Kisa Gotami, much of it in oral form and in local plays in much of Asia. This tradition has been mostly oral and a contemporary play on Kisa Gotami has been written in English by Raj Arumugam, 2010. Here is an extract:

Stall-owner: You are late this morning, Sujata. It is rare; it is not in character. Surely something unusual must have happened, Sujata, even so early in the morning.

Sujata: Something has happened, indeed. Something sad and tragic and that is the cause of my being late.

Stall-owner: Never have you been late, Sujata. Three years have you worked for me in this store and you have always been here right on time. What has happened, Sujata?

Sujata: It is Kisa Gotami.

Stall-owner: Kisa Gotami, your friend. Kisa Gotami the Thin One. Kisa Gotami the Frail One.

Sujata: Kisa Gotami, my friend. Kisa Gotami, my neighbor. And indeed, Kisa Gotami the Thin One. Kisa Gotami the Frail One. Early this morning, even before the first rays of the sun, there was a scream. And sobbing. Kisa Gotami, I learned later, woke up to find her only child dead beside her. Kisa Gotami’s only child, her son of six months, and dead of cholera. Kisa Gotami screams and cries. And her husband says: The child is dead. Kisa Gotami says: No. And her mother-in-law says: You are an orphan as you started – your son is dead. You have no one again - your son is dead. You came as an orphan, and you leave as an orphan. Your son is dead. Yet Kisa Gotami says: No. He is sick. He is not dead. And she screams and she beats herself and she scratches her face, and she picks up her dead son, holds him propped up against her on her hip as mothers of Savatthi may carry their children, and she runs out into the streets. Give my son some medicine, she screams. Cure him. People come out to see what the noise is all about. Give my son some medicine, Kisa Gotami screams still. He is dead, says one neighbor. No, she says. Cure him. Surely there must be some herbs to revive him. She sees me in the street. She runs to me. Give my son some medicine, Sujata, she says to me. I try to calm her. Listen to me, Kisa, I say. Listen, my dear friend. Calm down. Kisa Gotami beats her forehead. She screams. She shouts: My family will not help me. My neighbors will not help me. My friends will not help me. I will go to strangers who may. I begun my life as an orphan and here am I become an orphan again. To strangers must orphans go. And she runs away. And she runs carrying her child on her hip. She runs out of the neighborhood and she runs in her madness. And then I came here.

Stall-owner: And here she comes, Sujata. Look, here comes your friend Kisa Gotami with her dead child propped up against her on her hip as mothers of Savatthi may carry their children. O, she carries her child as if he were still alive.